I'm gonna have a badass scar
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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