I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
