Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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