Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
