he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
