im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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