It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
my being single is dangerous.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
