my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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