I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
