I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
honey bunches of taint.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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