i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
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You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
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A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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