Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
