I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
