So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
