tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize