i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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