I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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