But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
