The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
