we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
