i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
