Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
