we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Randomize
