You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
