We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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