fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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