I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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