Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
