Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
