thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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