Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
420 ftw
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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