I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
