Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
