I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I think your dad took our porno
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
