I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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