is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
