I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
