matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
