I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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