How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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