I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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