Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
