problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
