She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
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