the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
