I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
