cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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