i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
