I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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