Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
