Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
