Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
