i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize