Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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