Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
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