I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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