sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Randomize
