we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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