you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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